children & divorce

Whilst you are grieving for your relationship and fighting with anger and distress, it’s important to be aware that your children will be going through their own private grief and will be facing a range of turbulent and conflicting emotions coupled with the great fear that goes with being young and not in control of their destinies.

Children will be questioning their feelings and it is the job of the parents to help guide their children through troubling times. Despite the fact that the child is living 'in a single parent family', it is critical that the child is able to talk to both parents openly. Trust is a key ingredient in establishing a healthy and emotionally sound child. Despite the fact that the change in the marriage has occurred, the responsibilities of the parent remain the same. The bond between two people as marriage partners has been broken, but the bond between the two as being parents has not been broken. It is still the responsibility of the parents to be parents.

Over time you and your ex partner can help your children come to terms with the changes the children are experiencing, and if you keep their best interests at heart they will adapt well to the new circumstances. As you become happier yourself and life settles into a more stable routine, your children will respond by becoming happier and more secure themselves.

The sad fact is that when people get divorced the separation between parent and child is inevitable, and how children react to this departure is probably one of the most important facets a parent is faced with. How children react is not seen on a day-to-day basis, it is seen throughout a lifetime and it’s important for parents to keep close observations on how their children are coping and adjusting to the divorce.