Single with bump

[eccentrica]

Hi,

My LOs biological thing was with me till my son was 3 months old, although in essence I spent my pregnancy alone since he didn't come to any appointments with me and his idea of "help" was the occasional cup of tea.
I worked through till the week before I had him (no help with mortgage/bills from the father) and then had to go back to work when LO was 3 months old.
I had thought I wanted a little girl, but was told at 4 months that I was expecting a boy.........frankly, the best thing that could have happened.

Litlle boys are so incredibly loving and cuddly....at least for the first 7 or so years lol.
I've always hated football, but have learnt to tolerate it for the LO and it's amazing how you can get into something when you're supporting a loved one!!

I was incredibly lucky though to have an extremely supportive family and my mum lives just around the corner.

Don't be afraid to ask for help hun. It's neither a sign of weaknerr nor failure.

Always here if you need a chat.

Lx

[Trip]

Don't know how I missed this thread earlier....But Welcome Racoon!

I don't understand this wanting to know the gender before birth thing personally.....I catergorically didn't want to know and had a hard time making sure the sonographers etc DIDNT tell me!!  To me it was the "final surprise" when they were born to find out gender...or maybe subconsiously, it was precisely to prevent the pre-bonding

anyway I ended up with 2 boys, 1 girl (triplets)....who were, more importantly, all their own little people whos charactor developed irrespective (it would seem) of whether they were boys or girls.

As I come from a family almost exclusively of girl babies I too wondered what on earth I was going to do with boys ! but for what its worth, I've spent many a happy hour chatting to other parents at the side of a muddy football pitch (even though I don't really like football lol).

Good luck Racoon - must be soon now

Trip
x

[JustRuby]

I was too single with bump and i had convinced myself that i was having a boy. Infact it was a genetic impossibility that i was having a girl...all my family had boys and volia! a beautiful baby girl turned up and i have never looked back! As the others have pointed out once your baby is here it won't matter what sex it is, you will be relieved that labour is over and your baby is here safe and sound.

With regards to the clothes and names, i find the same trouble with girls stuff oddly. my sister however has no trouble dressing her tribe of 4 boys smartly and with little fuss. I however have to go through the rigmarole of that doesn't go with that and i'm supposed to wear those tights with that skirt.....however that could be cos i've bred a little madame instead of the longed for tomboy!!

Good Luck with everything, you'll be fine!! xxxx

[nick_w79]

I wanted to call my son Curtis but as I had no say in the matter I'll just have to go along with what she has chosen. Jusr hope she didn't choose blaine like she was threatening

[gsmum]

hmm well I think that G might be happy doing some sort of show in a hall too!!  loves a bit of glitter and beady necklaces too!!! sure he will grow out of it, he's over the pink thing now!!!!

 Personally I'd had too many suprises already to want another one and really wanted to know the sex but yes I'm absolutely sure that whatever, and whoever (cos thats the  other suprise, they have their own very distinct little personalities right from the start, and whatever you do I dont think you can change that!) they are you will love the very bones of them. 

as for boys stuff, keep looking, l've managed to find lovely bright orange, red and green clothes for G, he's hardly ever in blue!

boys names G is Gabriel, which I of course think is lovely and came from one of my favourite characters in a book. but  depends what you like. I had a book called Cool names for Babies, by Satran and Rosenkrantz (if you want to look it up!) and there were loads of wild and wacky suggestions in there which made Gabriel seem quite tame!!!!  That was the fun bit I thought!!!

[Pheonix]

just a quick note, i noticed you are having/had diabetes test, i guess its because you are larger than expected or baby is.

My midwives told me i needed a whole rack of tests if i wanted a home birth, my iron levels had to be in a certain range, extra scans etc, basically they spent 9 months trying to talk me out of a home birth. If this test says this then you wont be able to have a home birth etc

All i wanted to say is that it is your right to have a home birth if you wish and no one can tell you that you cant, Im sure you are smart enough to weigh up the pros and cons of each situation and make an informed decision.

long story but turned out none of the midwives in my community had training in home water births and basically they were all poopting themselves and trying collectively to talk me out of it.....since then all of them  have been on courses and have in the 3 years since my son was born assisted in around a dozen home water births in my local area, so Im pretty glad something positive came out of my fight.This isnt the case everywhere of course and some trusts actively encourage home births , i hope this is the case for you, but do be wary of people trying to tell you that you dont have the choice because you do.

How are the Braxton Hicks going?

Sally xx

[helencitauk]

quote author=nick_w79 link=topic=10136.msg203109#msg203109 date=1263213410]
I wanted to call my son Curtis but as I had no say in the matter I'll just have to go along with what she has chosen. Jusr hope she didn't choose blaine like she was threatening
[/quote]

nick - have you thought about going to court for parental responsibility? then you can have a say in your child's name?

sorry to go off your topic racoon. girls are fun but can be very hard work - i haven't got a boy but I get the impression that they are more straightforward....

note to phoenix - i think that everytime you see your midwife you have a diabetes test, don't you? that's what the urine is for?

[nick_w79]

Already in the process Helen. Not sure that changing his name is my top priority really and i'm not sure that i would be able to do that anyway. I just hope she went with Samuel George like she mentioned the last time she got in touch

[Pheonix]

Possibly helen but I was talking really about all the other tests they insisted i have above and beyond a normal pregnancy and how the results are often used as leverage to talk women out of home births. My midwives told me I would have to meet all kinds of criteria before they would ALLOW me to have a home birth and its basically a big crock of s**t. 

[Racoon]

Hello all,

Just to say I got the results of the diabetes test today and they're clear.

They do the urine test for sugar, which can indicate diabetes but I don't think it's particularly sensitive unless there is something seriously wrong. I think they mainly test urine so regularly for protein, which can indicates either a urine infection or be a symptom of pre-eclampsia.

In answer to your question Sally, I was referred to for them after being referred for an ultrasound because I was so big (bump neraly 3 weeks ahead of schedule), which they put down to either an excess of fluid, a baby with long legs or a large baby. After the ultrasound it did turn out it was a large baby (though they gave me no guesstimates of weight). I have another ultrasound on Wednesday to see if it were just a growth spurt or whether the baby is still measuring large. After which I have an appointment with the consultant where I rather suspect he will try to dissuade me from having a home birth. Though I'm not married to the idea of a home birth, I'm quite prepared to fight my corner and frankly not overly impressed with the bedside manner of a small minority of the medical staff round here.

I spoke to about 6 people today before they realised I wasn't going to be fobbed off with 'well we only get in touch if there is something wrong' (having initially been given a number by the consultant to call for my results). As part of the same hospital visit where I was told they got the sex wrong at my first ultrasound I then had to inform the consultant that the blood test for diabetes was a fasting blood test, who then checked the letter he was about to give me and realised I was right - numpty. I have also had midwife appointments where the my 'regular' midwife (who I've actually met 3 times...) has had a student present, not introduced me to them and then just offered up my body/ baby for their prodding without asking my permission. That said the student has a better bedside manner than my actual midwife, who has peed me off so much during the course of the pregnancy that I'd be mortified if she turned up for my birth, whereas the student I've now met a couple of times and is very pleasant and I'd be happy for her to be there.

I know these people are just doing their jobs and they've done it a million times and for them it's old hat, but it would be nice to be made to feel like something other than an NHS number (you have to feign a customer service attitude you don't necessarily feel in a lot of jobs). This is the first time I've done this, and given my personal circumstances it could have been a more pleasant experience, some degree of consideration that this is one of the most significant experiences of my life doesn't seem too much to ask. It's such a shame because the majority of the staff seem excellent and very open minded/ patient centred.

R

P.S. Blaine?  (Shazzam)

P.P.S. Triplets - OMG!!!

P.P.P.S. @gsmum I've been singing Prince's 'Most beautiful girl in the world' to Bubs for 3 months. I sincerely doubt he's going to end up a rugby lad    Gabriel's a lovely name too (and sounds super-cute - bless!)

[nick_w79]

Lol. Can you feel the magic? I just wanna try somethin.....

[helencitauk]

My midwives told me I would have to meet all kinds of criteria before they would ALLOW me to have a home birth and its basically a big crock of s**t. 

Don't see how anyone could be forced to have a hospital birth - wouldn't that constitute enforced imprisonment or they'd have to get you sectioned first??

I opted for a hospital birth but my DD could very easily have been born at home as I only went in at the very last minute. So.....

[jomarie007]

Hi Racoon,
Only just joined the site nice to meet you hope ur keeping well. I too have raised my youngest alone with my husband (now ex) having an affair when I was preganant. My boy is now 3 its been a journey and like you say its not what you imagined or ever wanted but you cope and get stronger. I have my kids and I'm coping well, good luck we are all here if you ever need to chat Take Care Jo xxx

[Pheonix]

No Helen you absolutely cannot be forced to have a hospital birth but alot of midwives would have you believe that you have to meet all kinds of criteria in order to be allowed a home birth, and one midwife actually said that if I called in labour and she was on call she would not attend, she said much worse but this thread is not suitable for her disgusting statements (ironically she ended up being present when my son was born)

I was hassled at every one of my appointments and fed alot of fear mongering about home births, stats actually say home births are safer and less likely to end in unecessary interventions After much research on websites such as N.I.C.E it became apparent that they have a duty of care to attend, even if they disagree with your decision. I wrote to my Head of midwifery about my appalling treatment and she quickly called a meeting of all the community midwives and told them in no uncertain terms that they were not to give expectant parents false information about their rights.
Like I said it was a case of misinformation based on their own fears and lack of training in home water births.

sorry for the slight hijack Racoon, and glad to hear everything is on track. My son was 9lb 10 and 15 days overdue. In the end I did need a c/section as he had the cord round his neck twice and I couldnt progress past 7cm dilated but I dont for one minute regret trying for a home birth, and my (20hr) labour in my own home in a pool was one of the best experiences of my life.

Cant wait to hear about your experience and hope to meet you and your son one day, in the meantime there will be lots of people on hear who can help you through those first tiring months, this site and its members are a great source of support and parenting tips.

Sally x

[Racoon]

Made it!!! Last day at work today, so now on maternity leave, which is a blessed relief!

Bun still in oven, birth partner arriving tomorrow so about to commence diet:

Breakfast - pineapple; Lunch - curry; Dinner - curry; to drink - raspberry leaf tea; exercise - daily walk; naps - as required.

 

Take care,

R

xx

[Pheonix]

LOL  Raspberry tea and pineapple, that takes me back, I went 15 days over so obviously didnt work for me but anything is worth a try

Put your feet up while you still can, and remember to continue the naps once baby arrives too.

Cant wait to hear your news, when is your due date?

[Scoobylou]

Glad you've finally made it to maternity leave, and you wont be on your own after tommorow either. not long to go now - so exciting!! Keep in touch and let me know how you are. Really hope we can catch up soon and i can finally meet the bump!  

Take care hun x

[Mia]

All i wanted to say is that it is your right to have a home birth if you wish and no one can tell you that you cant, Im sure you are smart enough to weigh up the pros and cons of each situation and make an informed decision.

This isnt the case everywhere of course and some trusts actively encourage home births , i hope this is the case for you, but do be wary of people trying to tell you that you dont have the choice because you do.

That's not entirely true hun... it's dependent on staffing levels and the policy of the NHS Trust.  It's also less advised for first pregnancies as there is no prior knowledge or evidence of how you will cope with birth.  Our local trust actually banned home births outright for a certain period because they didn't have enough midwives (there has to be 2 in attendance).  The only way you can be certain of a home birth is to hire an independent midwife who will support you for as long as it is safe within your own home.

All that said though it does sound like your lot were shi*ting bricks if none of them were trained in it!!!

I ideally wanted a home birth but am now glad I didn't as it went on for a LONG time and her cord was 4x round her neck in the end.

At the end of the day, a birth experience is an amazing thing, yes there are preferences involved but as long as mother and baby are fit and well at the end of it then it doesn't really matter where it happens - it will all disappear into a big blur once bubs is here anyway :-)

Fingers crossed that all goes well for you, do you have anyone's mobile number from here that you can contact to let us all know when you had him, name, weight etc?  As we'll all be gagging to know :-)

Ami x

[Pheonix]

Hmmmm really?  We will have to agree to differ on that one then hun

[Racoon]

I'll text ScoobyLou no worries. Due date not for 6 days so probably a little premature to be getting overly excited about it, but as I've now got a cold I'm happy to rest up for a couple of days.

[Racoon]

Just to say still no sign of Bubs. He's obviously enjoying the water park too much to come out.

R

xx

[elliefreya]

Just to say still no sign of Bubs. He's obviously enjoying the water park too much to come out.

R

xx

Sounds like he is far too comfy to move!!

D'day can't be far away though, so good luck when it comes to it, and keep us updated!

[Paul]

This is very exicing, I feel you joy just reading this thread

Good luck I'm hoping you have a stress free and quick birth

[Pheonix]

You cant blame him, im sure its much nicer in there than out here, hes probably heard you moaning about how cold it is and decided to stay put.

Have you tried poking him, make it a little less comfy?

[jeankris]

Today is the 06/02 and last post from Racoon on the 02/02 anyone can keep us up to date if bump decide to come?

[Scoobylou]

I'll text her and let you know if any news if no post on here before!

[Scoobylou]

No baby yet - but hopefully there will be some news soon. I'll let you know as soon as i do

[toot]

oo so exciting 

[Racoon]

Morning.

Don't get excited, I'm still not in labour. It's like watching paint dry.

Will let you know.

R

x

[Pandora]

Keep eating the pineapple - we're all on tenter hooks here!

[JustRuby]

I think we all looking forward to the newest SWK member!! If you looking for tips (you prob sick of them by now!) my cousin swears by washing and rehanging her curtains - this has apparently induced labour 3 times out of 4 for her. 

[Racoon]

Still nothin doin.

I've had acupuncture again today and I'm just about to adopt something from the Ministry of Funny Walks a friend has recommended.

Imagine if I wash my curtains and then end up having a home birth before they're ready to be rehung - I might end up on Google Earth...

R

x

[danensis]

You need some prostaglandins, haven't you got any handy male friends?

John

[The Naughtiest Girl]

HI R

I am not sure if I have said Hello before, a little head in the clouds recently
You sound to have been SO positive about being single with bump and have obviously made loadsa of mates on here

I am really excited to hear about the impending SWK birth

You will be fine, I was cheggers and on my own ( as were many others on here), the sense of pride will be immense about doing the labour thing
Best of lucj
r
x

[Racoon]

The ministry of funny walks has not worked for me on this occasion...

@ John: Lol, they give you a pessary these days as the 1st form of induction that is a synthetic version of the same thing.

My colleagues gave me a Mothercare gift card when I went on maternity, but I'm pretty sure it's not redeemable at local escort agencies. Sadly I don't know anyone who I'd feel comfortable asking to 'take one for the team'. 

@ I am what I am - thanks for the well wishes. Definitely looking forward to the having good news to share bit...

[The Naughtiest Girl]

Nothing else for it

Time for you to mosh to this


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hTWKbfoikeg

[gypsy]

cant believe ive only just caught up with this thread........................

hi racoon................welcome to the site - just been sat reading your whole thread - how exciting for you

i too was another singlewithbump and aside from my ex comin on board and then leaving ive raised my daughter singlehandedly for 11 years..........

i did my whole pregnancy on my own - and you know what when your baby is placed in your arms its the most fantastic feeling in the whole wide world..........im so so excited for you - and way back then there was no swk!!!

i also have a son - and if you do give birth to a son!......then sons are so so loving and cheeky at the same time but will always be mummys boys - enjoy him

and along with the others cant wait to hear and meet your new addition

hope he arrives very soon - for your sake - both my babies were 2 weeks late so  i know what youre going thro!!

[Pheonix]

Lol take one for the team
Glad to hear you still have your sense of humour 
Have you got some nice biscuits in for the midwives, I bought a beautiful selection of expensive biscuits and put them away for the birth, unfortunately as my son decided to come 15 days late, I ended up eating  the lot while I waited and much to my embarrassment could only offer them Tescos custard creams in the end.
I thought of a name if he comes on sunday...Valentino

[Paul]

Still all quiet here ?
have you thought anymore about names...... Paul is a nice one

[Racoon]

Hello all,

Still here. I went into hospital yesterday for a 'discussion' about induction with the consultant. 7 hours and two hospital meals later they finally let me out after 30 min conversation with a very stroppy Dr who was telling me that I was being ridiculous trying to have the a home birth for my first baby. Also how quickly a baby's health can change once it's overdue, deterioration of placenta, blah, blah. To which I responded that if he was so concerned about the baby's health that I couldn't go home it seemed slightly strange I'd been at the hospital for 3.5 hours by that stage and nobody was concerned enough to have checked the baby's heartbeat...

They eventually did connect me up to a heartbeat monitor and then were a bit panicky about what they saw because there were a lot of peaks and troughs, but after getting me to also click a button each time the baby moved, they realised that because Bubs is so active the peaks were just after a period of movement. They also noticed having connected me up to the monitor that I am either having contractions or Braxton-Hicks, but they are so mild I am barely noticing them (not complaining about that ).

In the end they said I could go home again if I had a 'sweep', which I did. I won't go into what this is other than to say it was the most 'action' I'd seen for nearly 7 months.    Sadly it doesn't seem to have done much as I've slept right through the night without any intensification so I'm going back in to begin the induction process this morning, which means the home birth is out of the window. I have to say if I felt that my Mum were more comfortable with a home birth I may have pushed it more, but I think as time has gone on past my due date she's now concerned about the baby's size given that they said he's gonna be a biggun before and it would be easier for her if I were in hospital. A 60 year old lady being your birth companion is a big ask, and I have to say I would have in many ways preferred my best friend who is a lot more unflappable but lives in Devon, already has two kids of her own and a husband whose job is not conducive to taking time off at the last minute at some point in an 8 week period to take care of the children.

So, luckily this hospital is one that gives you several pessaries before starting you on the syntocinon drip, which is what I particularly wanted to avoid. Am going to go for a walk today to see if I can give myself a bit of headstart on the intensification of contractions. Wish me luck, and if any of you are the praying type I'd appreciate any positive thoughts or prayers coming our way.

Will be in touch a.s.a.p.

R

x

P.S. Still uncertain about names. Everytime I share them with people someone groans about at least one of them so think I'm just going to announce once it's a done deal!