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Midlands & Central / Midland Meetup?
« Last post by butterfly87 on August 17, 2017, 01:52:49 AM »
 Hello everyone, I'm new here. I have one daughter aged 9 and we live in Birmingham. We are both hoping to make some local friends and attend/arrange local meet ups. Particularly interested in those with an only child although not exclusively.

Feel free to message me directly.

Midlands & Central / Re: Midlands & Central : Little list
« Last post by butterfly87 on August 17, 2017, 01:42:59 AM »
Hi All I'm excited about meeting some new people. Especially ones that understand the plight of having an only child.
I'm Nadine, I have one daughter age 9
Separation & Divorce / Re: Is anyone dealing with a financially abusive ex?
« Last post by jenniferpie on August 14, 2017, 05:31:30 PM »
In my experience a financially abusive ex will stay a financially abusive ex now matter how you behave.  The wealthier they are and especially if they work in finance or with money every day, the more abusive they will be (their wealth is after all what makes them what they are - their view, not yours).   They tend to think of the divorce as a trade where you were an asset and are now a liability.   They will not change. No matter how they come across this is their mind set.  Best to always deal with them as little as possible (don't get emotional - they get off on that), and just deal with them through the courts.   Most important thing is your children have a good relationship with both of you.   If you want to annoy your ex, be happy.   They will resent paying you, even if you are looking after the children brilliantly.  I met someone once and he told me he treats his ex like a nanny, that's how he gets over the idea he is paying out money.  "I pay her less than I would do a nanny." keep that in mind. Be civil and realise they never change and let your children appreciate the true value of money - as something to be nurtured and respected rather than something to be abused and used as a weapon.   
Separation & Divorce / Re: newly single and struggling
« Last post by jenniferpie on August 14, 2017, 05:23:37 PM »
how are you getting on?  I am new to this too and felt for you when I read your email. I wrote a book about my experience and journaling helps a lot. You are able to forgive but you should never forget.   Journaling is good.   Also any unkindnesses on both sides are bad for the children.  You are stuck with your ex for ever if you have children.  In general, and it is not always true, men will leave only if there is another woman to go to. They will lie about how long they have been with the other woman.  In some cases this will be for years. (In mine it was for seven years).   It will never be a 'just met' thing.  And they will usually lie to the grave.  (they will not under any circumstances want to look bad in front of their children, friends, work colleagues even if it means lying through their teeth).   But kindness is important. 
Also check out your mutual friends.  It is difficult to 'be friends with both'.   I would say it is impossible for you if not for them so allow the friends to choose for you. Don't mourn those who don't choose you. They were not your friends.  This may leave you with next to no one, but at least you know, don't you?   And there is opportunity to make new friends. 
As for the children, they are your focus, your distraction, your joy.    My ex was/is controlling with money. This will not change. The law protects you.   If they are abusive with money they will stay that way. Some people learn from experiences - others do not.  This is just the way it is.     Don't let friends stoke anger, choose those who are pragmatic, never knew your ex and will lead you to talk about anything and everything NOT to do with your past.   Choose a counsellor and be honest with them.  If it doesn't work, choose another one.  Therapy works but like anything, its who you choose.    Different styles work for different people.   In my experience divorce is worse than death.    In death you are able to mourn and remember the good times. In divorce, the bugger never dies and you are reminded what an a-hole they are every time you see them and they open their mouth.  Or not.   Any way, hope you are ok
Separation & Divorce / child maintenance and gap years
« Last post by jenniferpie on August 14, 2017, 05:14:16 PM »
Hi there, first time on here so here goes.    Daughter is going on a gap year (depending on results this Thursday), and ex has already told me this month will be the last of child maintenance.     The court order (divorce in 2002) said he must pay while daughter in FTE.    He has left work but earns more now than he did when he was working full time. (Banker).   Any suggestions.   Daughter shares her time between my home and her dad's now, but still spends time with me.   Do I need to reapply now for the order to start up again September 2018?   As I still need to have space for my daughter to have a home here, is there option for asking for maintenance to continue?    I understand going to court is expensive but my ex will not want full disclosure on his wealth, either in property terms, companies, savings etc. although he is adept at losing funds.   I have thought about renting out rooms but don't want to do with while my daughter is staying so I would really like to know what to do without involving my daughter and asking if she would like to stay with her dad or me when she is at home.    Ex will not mediate or communicate on any level, so will either be court or nothing?
South East & London / Looking for Sally & Alex from Chichester
« Last post by LisaHenry on August 13, 2017, 04:53:07 PM »
I holidayed with SWK a few years ago and met a lovely lady called Sally who lived in Chichester and was a nurse,  she had a son called Alex who would be about 8 years old now - we met at the New Forest camp and also Glastonbury Carnival, unfortunately we lost touch and it would be nice to see each other again. Does anyone know Sally and can point me in the right direction?? Lisa
Holidays, locations, how it works... / Re: Wicksteed 2016
« Last post by Papa Smurf on August 12, 2017, 05:01:02 PM »
The 2017 event is here.

South East & London / Re: North herts?
« Last post by SuzMcF on August 12, 2017, 01:56:19 PM »
Hi, Is anyone still active on this thread?

We have just joined and are north herts  :)

Holidays, locations, how it works... / Glastonbury - Nov 2017
« Last post by SuzMcF on August 12, 2017, 01:30:29 PM »
Hi everyone,

I'm thinking of booking Glastonbury 2017, but it is a big travel for us, so we may not be there until 6 or 7pm.  Does that become too late for arrivals?

Is anyone else travelling?

Holidays, locations, how it works... / Re: Wicksteed 2016
« Last post by SuzMcF on August 12, 2017, 01:27:53 PM »
Hi :)

We have just booked Wicksteed, which will be our first SWK event.  My boys are 8 and 6 and have been to the park once before - it's great!

Really excited to meet everyone

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