I'm sorry to hear that. I have a financially abusive ex but rather than controlling my money, he stole from me systematically for years, taking money from my purse, withdrawing money with my bank card (finding out the code when I changed it), taking money from my safe (yes, I had to have one in my own home!) and even walking into the bank with a forged signature and persuading them to let him take money out of my account. I've ended up with a deep phobia of anything money-related and will be undergoing high-intensity CBT to try to sort my head out.
So, I don't think we've had very similar experiences but I wanted to reply and send you my thoughts because financial abuse is horrible. x